Friday, February 8, 2008
Ben and Jerry To The Rescue
Feeling down gets me thinking...waaaay to much.
I started smoking for the first time my senior year in high school. I started because (dumb reason in retrospect of course) my friend who drove me to school smoked heavily all the way to school. I figured "what the hey" I'm getting all this second hand smoke anyway...might as well enjoy it. Ugh! That was how many years ago? eeek...too long to mention.
I quit smoking for a couple of years before my first child was born. I started again after my second child was born and quit again before the third was born. I started smoking about a year after the third child was born and smoked until I got pregnant with the fourth. I started again when my father died three months after the fourth was born. I just quit smoking about 10 months ago when I found out I was pregnant with Zeke (number 5). What a @#$%&!! rollercoaster! I said I'd quit for good after the last baby. I mean to...that is...I'd like to stay quit. I just crave the darn things so badly. I don't even smoke the ones with all the additives that make them especially addictive. I smoked American Spirits. My husband quit for the first time with this last child. I think alot of what is keeping me from smoking is feeling that he will smoke also and that is not fair to him.
I didn't quit because of popular opinions. I always smoked outdoors and took care not to annoy other people with it. I never smoked during a pregnancy. I didn't quit because of my health. I come from a long line of heavy smokers who are a pretty sturdy stock and live healthy until around the age of 90 something. I quit for good because my daughter (6 at the last quit time) told me that watching me smoke made her want to do it.
I'm not a drug taker...not even asprin...not even a motrin during any of the five natural hard and long birth/labors of my five wonderful children. I do however miss my American Spirits. I am trying so hard to resist. I think about it alot. I don't think of myself as an especially weak person...rather strong I'd say. This just happens to be my achilles heal. Anyway...I thought blogging about it might help ease the addict demons and of course a little Ben and Jerry's always helps!
Some light online shopping could cheer me up temporarily....hint... http://www.cubitas.com/jewelry/hair-accessories/hair-pins
Posted by MRS MJW at 11:23 AM